My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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