so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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