OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
