I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
