That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
