i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
