Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
