can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
