I wish I could teleport
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
