Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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