Its about making memories worth repressing
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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