third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize