i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
