I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
