Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
