..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
