Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
