In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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