Christians are straight up FREAKS
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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