how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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