I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
