i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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