...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
