Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
