You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
