i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
