the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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