Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
