Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she smelled like a LAN party
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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