I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize