**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
