Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
