evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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