He kissed a someone with a penis
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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