too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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