Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize