At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
