11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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