apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
