nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
