Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
