I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize