All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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