His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
