dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
