I cockslap morals
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
