He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
