Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
