Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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