wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
