ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
