i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
