ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
