considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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