Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i think i just lost a toe
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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