I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
