Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
