He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
