he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
