awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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