Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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