Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
