'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize