I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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